A Mummy Moment: Freaking out

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I know it’s usually Style it Thursday today but I’m posting a Mummy Moment instead!

I have a confession! I’m Charlie and I’m a control freak! Very few people know that about me, in fact I would say only my mum, hubby and sister know. I hide it well even from best friends, work colleagues, everyone. I work hard to make people think I’m a chilled person and that not a lot bothers me.

I’m now coming up to 30 weeks pregnant meaning that in just 7 weeks I’ll be full term! Yep only 7 weeks! Crazy huh?

And all of a sudden I’m freaking out! Massively.

I have a wonderful routine with Louie, everything runs pretty smoothly in our household. We go to several toddler groups and meet up with buddies for playdates each week. We have everything down to a fine art with getting dinner on and cleaning the house. Nap times are easy and Louie’s bedtime runs like clockwork! I’m in control! It’s taken us 15 months to get to this good place and now I’m about to have another baby….

I’m starting to think of all the what ifs! What if Louie’s routine gets ruined? What if our little girl is a terrible sleeper like Louie was? Will I be ok without sleep? What if I can’t cope? What if we never make it out the house again?

What if I can’t remember how to look after a new-born? When I said this one to my hubby he laughed. Louie’s only 15 months so it wasn’t even that long ago he was a new-born. The funny thing is before Louie was born I never worried about not knowing how to look after him. I felt very relaxed about it all, knowing that I would naturally just do it. This time around I’m worried, I think it’s a cross between hormones and hating being out of control.

Everyday I shower, get myself dressed and feeling nice. I have the house really tidy and I home cook every meal. Louie and I always have lots of one on one time which I love. I’m so panicked that I wont be able to keep up with this all and things will slip.

The silly thing is I know it doesn’t matter if things do slip, so what if the house isn’t perfect everyday! So what if I have to throw a pizza or ready meal in the oven from time to time.

But saying all of that there is such pressure to keep everything perfect in life. It’s rare I hear other mums moaning that they are struggling or that their house is a mess. Everybody wants to be that mum where everything is home cooked and cakes baked. Up until now I’ve probably been that mum that people hate. One of those mums where’s things are clean and tidy, I’m always on time to every play date with makeup in place. I work crazy hard to make sure I’m like that rarely sitting down to take a moment. I can’t remember the last time I sat down watched a bit of telly with a cuppa. But that’s the sacrifice I make to make sure everything is pretty perfect around here!

Lets not forget that I’ll also be on mission lose baby weight as soon as baby is born with trying to fit in exercise and healthy eating. Ahhhhh

Everything needs to be perfect and run like clockwork otherwise I melt down. Having a new baby is obviously going to throw things out for a while, our routine will change, it will have to as we’ll have another little person to think about and fit in.

So my pledge to everyone is to share when I’m struggling, to be human and normal. I promise not to hide from everyone my daily struggles with makeup and a smile. Although I can’t promise that I won’t be running around like a headless chicken trying to make everything perfect, it’s just in my nature!

Charlie x

4 thoughts on “A Mummy Moment: Freaking out

  1. I’m 30 weeks with baby #2 on Sunday and I’m desperately trying to ignore the fact that pregnancy ends in a newborn being put in my arms! Sleep is my biggest worry as that tends to help keep everything else in order. I hate mess and get really wound up when I can’t keep on top of things – you are not alone! 🙂

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  2. 30 weeks with #2 here as well….though a slightly bigger age gap (those joyous tantrums have kicked in this week!!) and from what I have been told countless times, and I am CLINGING onto, is that it is MUCH easier to have a newborn and a toddler than be heavily pregnant with a toddler!!! Fingers crossed, here’s hoping!

    Liked by 1 person

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