When I fell pregnant with Louie I wasn’t partially enjoying my job. I was working in marketing for a large corporate company and there was a lot of pressure. Don’t get me wrong the money was good, a travelled a lot which I enjoyed and I made a few really good friends which I can imagine I’ll be friends for life with. The hours where long, I slept very little worrying constantly about my work load and keeping everyone happy, I had quite a stressed life style. Working in that job whilst pregnant was tough and at times I found it really challenging to hold it together. In the end I took early’ish maternity leave for my own sanity.
I always knew I’d take a full year off and imagined I’d return if not to that job but another part-time. I like having my own money and feeling like I contribute, my own mother always worked when I was a child so it’s something I’ve grown up with.
Once I had Louie things really changed with me, I just couldn’t imagine leaving him in a nursery or with a child minder. I love being with him and never had a day where I wished I was at work. I have friends that as much as they love their children they couldn’t wait to return to work, I have friends who had to return without a choice due to needing the wage. I also have a massive amount friends that would love to return to work but can’t afford the childcare.
Sometimes I feel like should be working, I get comments regularly from other working Mum’s and their partners making me feel like I’m lazy for not going back. I also have friends that work that would love to be at home full-time with their children but don’t have a choice. I feel very lucky that my husband gave me that choice, in fact he actually wanted me to stay at home. My husband grew up with a Mum who stayed at home and has lots of fond memories of this. Don’t get me wrong if I said I wanted to go back to work he’d also be supportive of this.
I’m extremely lucky that financially I don’t need to earn, my husband has a successful business and I’m very proud of him as it’s taken him 12 years of hard work to get it to the place it is today. At times it comes with massive stress, long working hours and we have had to make sacrifices along the way. Sometimes when he’s had a tough time at work he sees home as his sanctuary . This makes me happy and proud that he feels like that, despite him walking through the door to a screaming toddler, crazy dogs and the house in a bit of a pickle.
I know that being a stay at home mum at the moment is the right thing for our family but as soon as the last child is at pre-school full-time I will return back to work and when I do I want to climb that ladder. I have my own career goals I want to achieve but at the moment being a mummy is my priority.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that working as a mum is bad. As I said before my mum worked full-time and it did me good. I have to make a conscious effort with Louie to make sure he’s socialised with other children. I know Louie is more attached to me than he probably should be with tears when I walk out the room. I also know that I have to make sure I do the activities like messy place, drawing, teaching him numbers and the alphabet, singing nursery rhymes etc as he doesn’t get that with not attending a nursery. I worry everyday about his development and his social skills and I know I wouldn’t have to worry about this if he did go into childcare.
Sometimes life as a Mummy is tough as we feel guilty no matter if we return to work or not. I’m a strong believer in not feeling guilty in making the best decision you can for you and your family given the situation at the time.